Stupidity results in such a circumstances. Stupidity of anger..stupidity of alcohol..stupidity of every internal and external factors. We broke off or i shouldnt say broke off cause, as what he sms me today i am still his gf, his dear dear, but such a matter of times.
We need some times to cool down over this ugly incident. Somethings that involves his family, my family and us~ Why do we have to end up this way..Its hard to be what it used to be even if we got back tgt, isnt it? How do i face his parents and vice versa.
Crying myself to sleep yesterday night..been thinking yet no answer..Why i fall in love so deep this time? 8 months but seems like 8 years..Hug my Big Tortoise crying..listening to the song "speak to me" ample of times.
I am tired..Tired of all the quarrels..tired of all the difference..tired of all the uncertainties..i thought we would be tgt forever..i thought we were the perfect match but everything seems to be just my thought.
How will my love ends? How will we be if we got back tgt? How to make every things work?
I really wanna thank XHBD..Millions of times that i am down, he will be there for me..Hearing me cry till so terrible yesterday, he was in shock though it wasnt the 1st time i cry before him. My so-called bestie and friends, ironically they wasnt there..I didnt even keep them inform, i dun find the need to since they are always not around for me. So the so-called bestie is just a bestie in deed yet not a bestie in need.. Maybe i need to review whats my so-called bestie. Who is there for me when i am in need..
On the other hand, i saw how my parents and brother cares for me. My brother worrying that i might be ultra sad (i am although he doesnt see it), calls me to tell me that if i need anything, i can call him. I feel very blessful to have my family, my only pillar that i can really rely on. But i do not want them to worry for me, cuz in the eyes of my parents, i am always the grown up girl who know whats right and whats wrong...Only once did i break down before my mum..
I dun wish to do anything to make a difference cuz i am too tired. I just wish that everything will corrects itself..naive thinking but i am naive..i just wanna take a break from the unrealistic world.
Michelle blogged @ 8:24 AM
