Sadness gush through me. How i wish that this wasn't true.
"your grandma check up result show that she got cancer"How heartless can the world be~
My granny, someone who is so kind to everyone, someone who take such a good care of our whole family, someone who always put others before her, and most importantly someone who is
so so so close to me.
Why must it be her???Why??I just dun understand.
Tears flow when i heard of this news.
I was taken care by her since i was born. I remember she was working as a cleaner then. I always go to work with her at AMK ITE, where i would walk around the school with her. My grandpa was sick then. Rain or shine, Granny will travel back home during lunch time to buy a packet of food and drink for my grandpa, and then travel back to the school to work again. Though the distance wasn't far, but i knew it was tiring. She did not resent for she feels that this is her responsibility.
Days past by with the same routine, till that dreadful day, my grandpa hanged himself. Granny return home as usual to bring him food and drink. The room door was 3/4 closed. After ample times of shouting, for him to have his lunch, there was no respond. My granny push the door and got a shock of her life. She tremble and panicked. She open the door and went down 1 level(my small aunt was living there then) to look for my small aunt. She was too dumbfounded to even remember how to dial a phone. My granny just sits there crying, speechless. I remember at that moments when the coffin was push into the burner(i dunno what you call that), my aunt shouted to us that we would no longer have grandpa, all of us broke down. I still feel the pain now as i am writing this.
I remembered a few of my cousin and me stayed at her house to accompany her after the funeral. We can sense that she hasn't recover from the shock. She was upset but she did not show her sadness, she do her chores everyday like the past. I know she cry in the night, for she does not wants to worry us.
I remember that she will always wait for me outside my school when i was in pre-school, to bring me home. No matters rain or shine, she will be there before the school bell rang. I would always sits in front of the TV waiting for the 3.30pm show, and she would prepare something for me to eat.
During the younger days, all of us would turn up at her house on Sundays. In fact, i love Sunday when i was a kid, cause thats the only times which i would get to play and enjoy myself with all my cousins. I bet my granny love Sunday too, cause she can get to see and chat with us.
My granny would always give us money every times we goes over to her house. Now she dun, not because we are older but because she really dun have much money. Most of my aunt and even my family wasn't rich, and she knew that. Sometimes when my mum or aunt give her money, she would ask them to keep for their own use. She knew and understand that most of our family barely have enough for ourself.
Granny always comment how obedient i was when i was young, and how mischievous Ting(my 2nd cousin)was, even up till now.
As we grow older, going to granny house became a chore, a chore that we seldom do. I told myself that i must visit her at least once in 2 Sundays, just to spend quality time with her. I do not wants to regret, only when she is not here.
Before getting the result, my granny told my aunt "if its is cancer, i rather die than to go for operation"
We will keep her illness from her, cause we felt that someone who doesn't know that he/she have a illness will live longer than someone who does.
She's already 74 and i dun think operation is much needed to increase her agony.
Life isn't fair, isn't it? I hope that she would not suffer any pain. I would rather god to take her life away, then to let her suffer any more pain. Her life is
pain-ful enough.
To cousins: Keep this a secret, dun let ah ma know, visit her regularly is what we can do.
Michelle blogged @ 8:14 AM
